A Lesson In Love.

Animals have a funny way of stealing your heart.. On Christmas eve, when I was 9 years old, I started off saying how cute she was and how funny it was when she did that.. By then, I was already done for and completely unaware of the silent commitment we had made to each other..

I miss the Holly that was.. I miss every little thing, from her waking me up every morning with her silky paws, to the way she purred in the night while she dreamed.. Listing all of the things won't bring her back, but she will always live in my memory.. I hope I can find some eloquent words to honor her..

I'm shocked at how hollow I feel.. How empty.. My room is no longer mine, it's just a room.. Without her in it, anyone could sleep in it.. It's just a room and the one thing that embodied unconditional love is gone forever.. The room is cold and no longer alive..

I'm so lost without her.. Normally, when I feel down, I would go home to her, hold, love and cuddle her.. Her absence is the source of my heartache, and I'm at a loss about how to fix it..

I don't want her to miss me.. I want her to be at peace.. I wish there were some way of knowing that.. All of this pain would be worth it, if I could somehow know that I am the only one experiencing it.. I wish there were a way for me to know that she knew how much I loved her, how hard the decision was to make, and how it pained me to let go of her little body even after her soul had left..

I'll miss sleeping with her, she was my constant companion for over 20 years.. It's impossible to list all of the things we went through together..

A friend once told me that pets are different from people because pets love us, even with all of our warts.. But, I think our pets don't even see our warts.. In their eyes we are perfect, and to me, Holly was perfect.. That is a special kind of love.. A sacred, strong, pure love..

We could do no wrong in each other’s eyes.. I hope that where ever she may be, she knows that I couldn't and still can't find the perfect words to describe my love for her..I hope she knows that all of my tears are for her, and how much it hurts me to not have her by my side..

I hope she knows that I will never forget her..

Rest In Peace, Holly. ~1990-2010~