I woke up at 5:52 AM..

I had a tickle on my face and neck, and when I reached to itch, I realized that I had a ball of something in my hand.. I threw it, and then thought HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, that was a spider!! Right away, I knew it hit the wall and probably bounced back on my bed.. I found the little shit under my pillow, and as I do with all crawly things, I said, "#@*% you," and then smooshed him in toilet paper, threw him in the toilet and urinated on him.. The End..